Why take marriage seriously?

God has revealed He does.

In many respects, the thread that stiches the Bible together is the institution of marriage. In the beginning, God created man and woman in His image and gives them to each other for companionship and the raising of children (Gen 1:27-28). Throughout the Old Testament, the prophets speak about the relationship between God and His people using marital images (e.g. Is 62:4-5). Jesus' first public miracle occurs at a wedding (Jn 2:1-11), and He calls Himself the bridegroom (Mk 2:19). St. Paul calls it a mystery in that it makes visible the relationship between God and His people (Eph 5:31-32). And at the end of the Bible, the life of heaven is spoken of as a wedding feast (Rev 19:9).

Receiving the Sacrament of Matrimony connects your union to God's plan of salvation!

Marriage Preparation Timeline

The preparation is meant to help the couple plan not only for the day of their wedding, but for their married life. Hence, a suitable time of preparation is required, normally not less than six months.

Marriage Preparation Components

Couples preparing for the Sacrament of Marriage will have at least four meetings. Three of these meetings are with Fr. Weber and one of the meetings may be with another married couple of the parish. If extenuating circumstances require it, additional meetings may be necessary. While there are costs associated with some of the steps, finances should not be a barrier to marriage preparation. If you have concerns about costs, please contact Fr. Weber.

The timeline of the meetings will approximate:

#1 Introductory Meeting

This meeting provides you and Fr. Weber the opportunity to get to know each other. In addition, Father will ascertain part of what is called the “Prenuptial Questionnaire” which clarifies whether any additional steps need to be taken in order for the couple to receive the Sacrament of Marriage (e.g. requesting dispensations or petitioning for a declaration of nullity from a prior union). At the end of the meeting, Fr. Weber will indicate the next formational steps in the marriage preparation process that the couple can begin:

•        In Perfect Union
•        Archdiocesan Marriage Retreat
•        Facilitating Open Couple Communication, Understanding, and Study (FOCCUS).

In Perfect Union

This document outlines the essential teachings of the Catholic Church in regard to marriage. It will provide the basis for further conversation between you and Father during your subsequent meetings.

Archdiocesan Marriage Retreat: The engaged couple will sign-up for the Archdiocesan Marriage retreat. There are two options:

Option 1: In-Person Weekend Retreat (T.B.A): Retreats will run Friday-Sunday at the Schoenstatt Retreat center in Waukesha. The Joy-Filled Marriage content will be delivered by local married couples and provide ample time for engaged couples to dialogue, pray, and receive the sacraments. Retreats cost $350/couple and include all lodging and meals.

Option 2: Online Marriage Prep: Couples register for an online course version of Joy-Filled Marriage. This is self-paced and includes about 8 hours of content. Additional time is need to engage in conversation about the content which is a critical aspect of the retreat. An online workbook is included; printed workbooks may be ordered at registration. Cost: $125 per couple.

FOCCUS Inventory: (Facilitating Open Couple Communication, Understanding and Study). This inventory is meant to open up communication on a variety of topics for the couple from the spiritual to the practical aspect of married life. Following the FOCCUS inventory, the couple will meet with Fr. Weber to discuss the couple’s experience.  Cost: $50.00 per couple.

#2 Retreat Meeting

This meeting provides you and Fr. Weber the opportunity to discuss aspects of the retreat. You will also discuss Part I of the In Perfect Union compendium. At this meeting, you will receive materials to help plan the Liturgy.

#3 FOCCUS Meeting

This meeting is an opportunity to discuss the FOCCUS inventory. You will also discuss Parts II and III of the In Perfect Union compendium.

#4 Liturgy Planning Meeting

If it has not formally been done by now, at this meeting you will take the Prenuptial Questionnaire which ascertains your freedom to marry and to make any necessary requests for dispensations. At this meeting, the details of the liturgy will be finalized.

Things you will need.

Baptismal Records

Baptism records are required for all people who have been baptized (not just Catholics). Those baptized Catholic must have a baptism record produced no more than six months prior to the wedding date. To obtain a baptism record, call the parish of your baptism and they will send you a new copy. For non-Catholic Christians, any copy of a record of baptism will work. 

Liturgical Details

Music

Our parish Director of Liturgy & Music, Mark Konewko will be the principal musician for your wedding.  You will need to communicate with the director no later than a month before the wedding to select the music, but you are encouraged to reach out sooner than later. The parish will provide a cantor/soloist. Requests for additional instrumentalists and vocalists can be discussed with this director.

Since the liturgy of marriage is the prayer of the Church, only liturgical music is allowed; that is, music that is intended for worship and prayer. While every effort will be made to accommodate your musical requests, the music for your wedding must be consistent with the music of our Sunday liturgies in combination with appropriate classical instrumental music.

The music of the liturgy must be ‘live.’ That is to say, the playing of pre-recorded music (whether from a phone, laptop, etc.) is not allowed.

Attire / Wedding Party

To express the Church’s teaching of Christian marriage, attention must be given to the attire of the wedding party and the configuration of bridesmaids and groomsmen. The wedding couple and wedding party’s attire should be modest and appropriate for the sacred space of the church. In addition, the wedding party must be comprised of an equal number of males and females who are paired in male/female couples throughout the liturgy.

Decorations:

• The church can be opened two hours prior to the start of the liturgy. There is a classroom space equipped with a sink and mirrors for the bridal party. There is also a separate space for groomsmen to get ready before the liturgy.
• The throwing of rice, birdseed, flower petals, or glitter is prohibited within or outside of the church building. Failure to comply could result in a maintenance cleaning fee due to the additional expenditure of our custodial staff’s time.
• Please do not tape or staple anything to a wood surface.

Photographer

We ask that your photographer limit the use of flash equipment to the processional and the recessional; that the photographer not interrupt or stop the movement of the procession; and that the photographer be discreet and not get in the way. Photographers are not allowed in the sanctuary (i.e. behind the altar rail). 

Fees and Honorarium

The fee for the organist is $300.00 and for the cantor $150.00. A stipend for the parish (“honorarium”) is $100.